Welcome to the second and last post in my New Year’s Eve series, helping you make the most of the last night of the year. In this post, it’s all about helping you meet tons of people and maybe even get that kiss when the ball drops at midnight.
(If you missed the first post, check it out here: The Professional Wingman's Guide To: Planning the Perfect NYE)
One NYE, I remember a woman came up to me and said she wanted my glasses that were conveniently trimmed with “2008.” I wasn’t wearing them so what did I care? I gave them to her and while we waited to grab a drink (for 30 minutes!), we started chatting. Finding out she was there with a group of friends, I introduced my group to her friends and come midnight, our kiss became the first of many that night.
Whether you’re interacting with one person or a large group of friends, getting into a conversation and making a connection can happen much easier on NYE than typical nights out. Your rule of thumb is to follow my 3 C’s Strategy:
Here’s a fun fact: On the list of major “hookup” holidays, New Year’s Eve is in the top 5 (ask me on Twitter what the other 4 are.) The reason for that is when people are celebrating the same thing and with everyone in a good mood, meeting people is just easier.
Once you’re in the venue, look around and observe the situations you’d like to put yourself into. Are they with friends? Do they have party favors? Did their jacket fall off of their chair? Did they spill her drink? Are they wearing silly hats?
Whatever it is, knowing what’s going on around you will allow you to join any conversation as naturally as possible.
The most effective way to feel confident — besides experiencing success first hand — is by triggering our body to do so. Here are the basic physical actions you can do to project confidence:
- -Smiling (a MUST)
- -Holding eye contact (even when it feels a little uncomfortable),
- -Standing up straight,
- -Maintaining open body language
- -Keeping your head up are just a few examples.
The #1 question I get asked by my clients all the time is, “what do I say?” This is what 90% of people worry about and it accounts for less than 10% of success. If you develop your awareness of what’s going on around you (see context) and can adjust your body language (see confidence), you can say almost anything — respectfully, of course.
The important thing to understand here is people rarely remember the first thing you say to them. So while you’re worrying about what to say first, they’ve already forgotten about it. For the naysayers out there who disagree, after talking to someone, ask them what was the first thing you said to them. Will you remember? Unless it was some ridiculous thing, it’s very likely neither of you will remember.
Now we have the conversation going, let’s just into some flirting, as this will give you the best chance of getting that kiss when the ball drops.
A recent study put out by Communication Research shows that nearly 85% of women aren't aware when a man is flirting with them. Personally, I think it’s due to our inability to be more overt, especially in socially intense environments such as lounges and nightclubs. To sum it up, people aren’t mind-readers and won’t know you like them unless you tell them through physical gestures, supplemented by your words.
Flirting allows you to create that physical “chemistry” or “spark” you hear people talk about. Some people measure that physical spark more by your personality than your looks so this gives anyone a chance to make a connection good enough for at least a midnight kiss and hopefully something more to ring in the new year.
Flirting allows you to create that physical “chemistry” or “spark” you hear people talk about. Some people measure that physical spark more by your personality than your looks so this gives anyone a chance to make a connection good enough for at least a midnight kiss and hopefully something more to ring in the new year
The most important thing, and probably the biggest attractor, is having a great time. This night only happens once per year, so no matter what happens, enjoy yourself, party responsibly, and ring in the new year like a boss.
For more from Thomas Edwards, The Professional Wingman: